Derek's blog

Confidence

So what exactly is confidence in the mind of a woman? And how do we exhibit to the fairer sex, that we do in fact exude it, even in times when we, perhaps, might fall just a little bit short in actually achieving a great deal of success in that particular category? Again, no problem, as you just happen to have a book that tells you precisely what women are looking for signs of when it comes to confidence. Which is 61% of what it takes to say “Open Sesame” and gain entrance into the mysterious treasure trove of co-operative and mutually satisfying, female companionship – and then some!  

Hey, looky there! The good news is that if you can come across as confidently comfortable in your surroundings and able to engage in meaningful conversation with the ladies, then it looks like we have it made, right? Yeah, that’s right! (We’ll check in with the ladies to get a clear explanation of what type of conversation is deemed by them to be meaningful.)  

And, as well, it now appears that all those aggressive “A-hole” Alpha Males, who honestly thought they were impressing the chicks by acting like rough and tough, “In You Face” cavemen, where way off the mark, huh? Hmmm, ….., well, not exactly, and here’s what I learned from these women about that part in particular. You see, women want, dare I say, “NEED” to be treated in such a manner that clearly lets them truly feel like a feminine women. In order for the biological female hormones to effectively kick in and make her want to start treating some guy, like a masculine man. So there definitely is some need for some powerful machismo to be present, to activate the chemical equation that makes her want to want you, and want you to want her.  

together

Sadly, in this sometimes seriously overly civilized society, where in some cases, men have been watered down, refined, psychologically neutered, in the work-place and in social environments, women seem to miss getting that strong, intoxicating testosterone heavy shot of real “in your face,” confident manhood in action. Sexual connection is a “Chemical Equation,” and chicks just aren’t getting a full inoculation of what they need from these weak, willy-nilly, soft “Nice Guys,” with their overly sensitive, caring and submissive attitude toward women.  

This inevitably leads many women to make up for that glaring emptiness within our current cultural cacophony, by dangling their femininity in the faces of, or allowing themselves to be seduced by the aggressive and often social misanthropic “Bad Boys”. Who at least spark a flame in the female psyche as being their only possible exposure to that real masculine, macho manliness that satiates their natural, instinctive subconscious desire. And to scratch that itch that just won’t go away, even after thousands of years of cultural attempts to tame the savage beast within the bosom of our feminine counterparts. 

Our Choice

How do we go about making that positive first impression that is going to get us in the front door to at least have a chance with the lovely lady of our choice? Well, thanks to this book, and the wonderful women who agreed to participate in its creation, the answer is easy as pie! Why? Because we now know exactly what the women are looking for, when they are looking our way to decide “Yes” or “No” regarding any possible future with us, and that gives us a very distinct advantage in a game that we used to have no choice but to play blind.  

Hello!!!!! Anybody Home? If this isn’t the greatest possible news for every guy out there in the entire world, with the exception of the hunky, muscle building, pretty boy model, then I just can’t imagine what possibly could be. Women want a guy who strikes them as confident, followed next by a guy with a nice smile.  

Heart

Ok., so what does that mean for us? Well, first of all, it means we are in the clear to go for it, even if we aren’t rich, successful, in perfect shape or the most handsome guy around. That’s good news, because if you look around, most of us dudes simply aren’t any of those things. But wait you say, Woody, you seem to forget that most of us aren’t really all that confident either, especially around women, so really, we’re still pretty much sunk here, right?  

WRONG! Because when it comes to looks, a great physiques, a handsome face, you simply can’t fake that, you either have it, or you don’t. There’s no debate, no way to play the game as if you have the assets that are being discussed. Faking wealth and success is a possibility, but it’s a very hard act to pull off. And it takes tons of effort and trusting for several possible potential points to all go your way, in a consecutive order, with mathematical probabilities so immense, that it makes astrophysicists want to drop to their knees and cry!  

But a nice smile is the easiest thing on earth to manufacture, if you don’t already have it. And the golden goose and key to all your dreams, confidence, is not a hard thing to develop with time. And until you do get you confidence act together, you can simply do what all of us dudes did while we were getting our sea-legs on the good ship “Lady Love,” which is simply “Fake it till you Make it!” 

Online Dating Tips. Ask about Her Family

dating for couples

Family is a huge part of many people's lives. Family can be good or bad, but either way it shape; someone. Asking about her family will result in an answer that will reveal something about her. Either she'll give a terse answer like. "Two brothers, one sister, parents divorced," or it might be longer, a full description of them and her closeness with them, some anecdotes about her past with them. While she might not want to go into a lot of detail about them before she knows you well, she'll probably expand on them a little if she likes them. If there's something unpleasant in her past regarding her family, you'll probably be able to pick up on that.

For instance, Alyssa's response to this question in these early e-mails is, "I have great parents who are still together after almost 40 years. I have an older sister whom I love and a French brother-in-law. I have a lovely grandfather who still lives back home in the Midwest whom I go visit a few times a year. I have a college-aged cousin who's part of my extended family and who'; really cool." She doesn't reveal too much in this answer but reveals enough to let you know her family is important to her and that it's a close family. She's not a child of divorce, and her sister is married, so her view of marriage may be positive. It's also likely she doesn't believe in divorce or at least would treat it as a last resort. If she wants kids, since she has a sibling she's close to, she might likely want to have more than one child. She mentions extended family, not just parents and siblings, so she believes in a broader definition of family.

The feeling would have been different if her response had been the following: "I've lived away from home since I was 18. I see my family usually once a year at Christmas. I have a sister and a brother. My parents divorced when I was 10. They both remarried, and I have various half-siblings." What can we glean from this? Though she doesn't intentionally put any emotion into these statements, they're brimming with subtext. She left home as soon as she legally could. She rarely sees her family, so they're not close. She mentions her full siblings only briefly, so she's probably not close with them any more than she is to her divorced parents. She doesn't even bother to mention what gender her half-siblings are or how many there are, so it seems likely there's some jealousy or bitterness in regard to them. There's no mention of her parents' new spouses, so it's clear that there are issues there as well. You can assume there will be no happy family dinners in your future if you date her, at least not with her family.

Dating Tip - 6 Steps For Taking a Girl Home With You

These dating tips are meant to give you the basics of getting the girl over to your place the first time you meet her. Getting a girl to come home with you from a bar or club is a skill. What I mean by that is that it can be learned, and just like basketball or cooking, you can improve at it. These are the steps you need to take when you in a club or bar in order to get the girl over to your place:

Dating tip 1: is to consider the details. By this I mean make sure that there's nothing stopping you from bringing her home. Make sure you have a place close to the venue. It doesn't have to be your house; it could be a buddy's flat that you have a key to. Make sure that there's nothing creepy inside, and that it looks presentable to the girl. The last thing you want is having her come over, and then run out because your friend likes making collages of human body parts for "art". Make sure you have a place in the house that is secluded enough to have sex in.

Dating tip 2: Pre-set your mind on your goal. If you want to get laid that night, you should be thinking of that as your primary goal. Every interaction with a girl should have the context of you wanting to sleep with her later on. I don't mean for you to be creepy, but rather to have an "all out" approach. Make sure you ask the girl early on what she is doing later that night. Some responses that will make your work cut out for you, "I'm the designated driver, and we're all heading out in an hour or so", or "I'm visiting my mom, and staying at my brother's place". Some of these situations can be worked around, but usually your best bet is to find another girl.

If you ask her what she's doing later that night the good answers would be, "Finding an after party!" or "I'm not sure, what are you up to?" Both of those are really good indicators.

Dating tip 3: The most important dating tip. You need to lead as soon as you start the interaction. For example, grab her hand, and get her to follow you around the bar/club. A good way to do this is to say, "I gotta get a drink" take her hand, and lead. This is super important in creating attraction, and it is important if you want to lead her out of the club later on.

Dating tip 4: Escalate at the club. You need to escalate physically, and with what you're saying to her. Give small sexual hints here and there. Gauging her response will allow you to see if she's ready to leave with you, or if you need to spend more time making her comfortable. This is where you go for a kiss. During the make out make sure you pull away first. This is a subtle psychological trick that leaves her wanting for more.

Dating tip 5: Qualify her. A key dating tip any interaction. You need to tell her that you want to hook up with her for a reason other than her looks. There's a million ways to do this, some of them are, "You're the first girl that I was able to have a decent conversation with tonight, I'm glad we met". "I think that its awesome you went to volunteer in Ghana, you must be a really kind person. I think that's great". There's more qualifying pointers at Best Dating Manual dating tips. If you're feeling like you've escalated enough before, the money line here is, "To be perfectly honest, I'd really want to hook up with you right now". Make sure you do this after you qualify her for non-sex-related stuff.

Dating tip 6: Time to lead her out of the club. If you've been leading throughout the interaction it shouldn't be that much of a problem. If you haven't been leading it will be much more difficult. Leading is actually a must in all interactions with women.